The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes - POWER RANKING
It's not really a power ranking. Happy Thanksgiving!
If you follow me, you should be well and aware that The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes is in theaters now. Go buy tickets.
It has awakened a bit of a hyper-fixation in me that I’ve kept buried for years. With that said, you’d think that I’d write an issue unpacking my long-lasting love for the franchise. The problem is, there are one hundred thousand and seventy trillion deep dives into The Hunger Games Universe already, some of which are so detailed, intricate, and have such interesting points to make. As much as I could discuss this universe at length for hours on end, it just wouldn’t be an interesting piece for anybody. Like, we’ve all been there, we’ve all done that. If I wanted to contribute to the conversation, I would’ve had to really commit to studying the books again. I don’t like doing things half-heartedly, and I just don’t have the time. I have a job!
I don’t claim that what I’m about to write about is particularly unique or original, especially when you consider peak Hunger Games era, you couldn’t avoid posts like this, but it was a fun concept. Paul suggested it. Shoutout to Paul. I’m going to go through every Tribute and Mentor of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and rank them, as though I, myself, am a Capitol Citizen. If you’re going to “wow, you sure missed the point” me, just know I don’t give a fuck!!! Out of fairness, I cut Lucy Gray Baird and Coriolanus Snow out of the ranking process. They are the leads, they are the victors. I will dedicate a little excerpt for them, so you won’t be left without my thoughts on them. If you know anything about me, you should already know my thoughts on Lucy Gray Baird, but still, allow me to give a girl her 10s.
I’m going to be discussing the movie more than the book. I did read the book when Rachel first got cast, because of course I did, but I actually semi-DNF'd it. I can say I finished it, but I wasn’t really… with it. I was just finishing it to finish it. I know enough to know what got cut in adaptation, I know the differences in characterization and events, and that will surely play a factor in my opinions, of course, but I’m much more concerned with the film portrayal of events. That’s what I have more current memory of, as I have seen it twice now in the past week.
A few more disclaimers, I’m just going to ignore the characters who didn’t really… exist in the movie. The ones who got shot while trying to escape the arena, sorry… you tried your best, I respect that about you, but I just don’t know you. I will be moving that way with mentors, as well. If you made an impression, you got ranked! If you didn’t, I don’t even know what you’d even want me to say. District 1, I’m sorry I wasn’t your mother, truly. I counted 13 more or less “relevant” tributes, and I just counted their mentors alongside them. I’m sure there’s arguments to be made about who I included and excluded, but a lot of the ones I omitted just literally never spoke. Yes, some of the people who I included didn’t speak either to my recollection, but we will get to that when we get to that.
Goes without saying, really, but no hate to any member of the cast. They all did fantastic work. Literally every single person. Me being a hater of a character (CORAL.) does not make me a hater of the performer, at all. Everyone seems lovely. This is a no hate to real people zone. Well, in this case specifically. You could call this a “sometimes hate to real people” zone. Just not today.
Spoilers, by the way. This isn’t an issue to read without having knowledge of The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. I won’t be giving a full fleshed review. I will not be contextualizing anything, but I will be spoiling a lot. Just without context. I would recommend watching the movie before reading this issue, but if that isn’t happening… prepare to be quite lost!
TRIBUTES.
12. Tanner, from District 10. Mentor: Domitia Whimsiwick
Let me start out by saying… I am not a fan of the Coral alliance. At all. I’m so sorry. I know! The kids have to do what the kids have to do to survive, trust me, I know that! Yet still, I was happy to see it crumble as the games progressed. Tanner sort of just lived, annoyed me and those around him, and then got blindsided by his alliance before the finale. Sucks to be him, I guess. Coral was right, he did NOT deserve that water. I mean, it was poisoned, so he did deserve it in that sense, but they didn’t know about the poison of it all. R.I.P to Dill.
11. Mizzen, from District 4. Mentor: Persephone Price
Truthfully, if there were a change to make, I would swap Mizzen and Tanner. At least Tanner had a dramatic death. I don’t have much to say about Mizzen, truthfully. I’m just generally more forgiving of his crimes because at least him being aligned with Coral was a district thing. I can respect having some Brand Loyalty! Besides that, I got nothing for him.
10. Bobbin, from District 8. Mentor: Juno Phipps
I don’t have too much to say about Bobbin, either. I probably would’ve just neglected to rank him if not for the context of his death being so integral to the story. It was quite high drama. He’s the First Person Coriolanus Snow Ever Killed. By the end of the whole franchise, that’s a mighty long list! Especially if you count the who he has indirectly had a hand in killing, which in this movie alone is a number of people. Bobbin is sort of the catalyst for a lot of Snow-issues. I have to respect that impact. He might not have charted, but he’s influential.
9. Brandy, from District 10. Mentor: Arachne Crane
STUNT QUEEN. Brandy didn’t even make it to The Games because of the whole… public execution of her mentor thing, however if you’re going to talk about influence, that made such an impact on the charts. It could’ve changed the trajectory of the games entirely if Gaul and Snow weren’t bordering on sociopathic. She had to rank relatively low because she didn’t even enter the games and all, but let it be known that one scene gagged the entire theater AND Coriolanus. Brandy has some of the most impact, check the spreadsheet.
8. Treech, from District 7, Mentor: Vipsania Sickle
I can’t lie to you… Treech seems like a bit of a loser. I’ve already established I hate Coral and her terrorist organization, but Treech is so near pathetic. Him ditching Lamina for Coral is what makes me rank him here specifically, and not higher or lower, because the conflict hinted at him being interesting, but it also made him a bit nasty in my books. Remember, I respect Brand Loyalty!!! More importantly, I just do not have respect for the Coral Coalition. That’s two strikes. He tried, though! He tried.
7. Coral, from District 4, Mentor: Festus Creed
I have nothing positive to say about Coral. I know the apologist rhetoric already. “She just did what she had to do to survive! It’s the games! She’s just a girl trying to find her place in this world!” She said as such at the very end. And you know what, I’m sorry to that girl, truly. HOWEVER, I was so tired of her nonsense. She was such a player-hater. Her beef with Lucy Gray was not that of a normal person. She hated seeing a soprano winning, and that’s sick. On top of that, her name is Coral, like, what? Not a good spirit at all. Thank God the snakes got her, I don’t care. She ranked this high just because she was a huge player in the games. You have to respect a villain game, even if you can’t like it.
6. Dill, from District 11, Mentor: Felix Ravinstill
You know, Dill kind of slid up here for no one particular reason. I found her death to be an interesting change from the books, but it worked on me. I was very sad watching particularly Lucy Gray’s reactions to seeing what she’s done, and how it was not what she had planned to happen. Rachel’s acting in that scene was fantastic. It’s a death that is felt through the rest of the movie as well, it really stuck with Lucy Gray. Outside of that… Dill was really stressing me out. I work retail, so people coughing on me is a trigger. R.I.P Dill, poor girl.
5. Marcus, from District 2, Mentor: Sejanus Plinth
Marcus’ strained dynamic with Sejanus and his punishment and death after trying to escape are so notable in the overarching story. He is felt throughout the runtime, especially in Sejanus’ arc. When his punishment in The Games is revealed, and then his death… the imagery is actually quite disturbing. I don’t think he spoke a single line in the film, yet his presence is so impactful in the overarching narrative.
4. Wovey, from District 8, Mentor: Hilarius Heavensbee
Every delivery from Sofia Sanchez. A star!!! See what happens when you’re unproblematic? She made it all the way to the finale! Production interference had to snatch the crown from her!!! Wovey for All-Stars!
3. Jessup Diggs, from District 12. Mentor: Lysistrata Vickers
I wish we got to know more about Jessup. I know this movie didn’t spare too much time for anybody who weren’t our leads, but we really only got rabid Jessup. I wish we got more ally Jessup moments! We hear about him protecting Lucy Gray from the bats, which unfortunately lead to his downfall. I loved the dynamic we did get of how protective he was of Lucy Gray and Lucy Gray protective of him, even when he was trying to attack her. I also really enjoyed how they went out of their way to imply his mentor, Lysistrata, was protective of him as well, in comparison to how the rest of the mentors didn’t seem to care at all and viewed their tributes as sub-human in a way. Besides Coriolanus but we saw how that worked out. I’m team Jessup.
2. Lamina, from District 7. Mentor: Pliny Harrington
If I remember correctly, she did not speak a line of dialogue in this movie, but wow… what an impact she made on the charts. Literally! She was getting so many donations in that one scene! You already know I was rooting for her to end Coral’s reign of terror so bad in that one scene. It made sense she was the early fan-favorite, she had the underdog arc on lock. Coral not letting her join their alliance and then forcing them to corner her. Again, nasty spirit. R.I.P to a real bad bitch. A diva.
1. Reaper Ash, from District 11. Mentor: Clemensia Dovecote
I could say so much about Reaper and why he’s my favorite non-Lucy Gray tribute. Reaper’s moment of tearing down the flag, the reactions The Capitol had about it. Him making a memorial for the fallen tributes, and asking if they were going to punish him. Making them send in a literal snake bomb. It was the most human moment of rebellion in the entire film, and it very clearly parallels moments of Katniss throughout the original series. I could write an essay in itself about these parallels and how they can be a throughline between this narrative and the original trilogy, but I just don’t have the time for that right now. Reaper and Lamina fit the Katniss mold more than Lucy Gray does. Which is why a lot of people, including myself, really love his character and why that moment became an instant standout in the film. From the start, threatening Snow, (allegedly) killing Peacekeepers and not getting caught. Radical bad bitch! An early blueprint for The Mockingjay.
VICTOR. Lucy Gray Baird, from District 12. Mentor: Coriolanus Snow
Lucy Gray Baird is an instant favorite character of, at least this universe, but probably of all time. You already know Rachel Zegler is my everything. She’s why I picked up the book, she’s why I saw the film, it’s true. I know there was some controversy to the “anti-Katniss” comparison, but I think that’s exactly what makes her such a dynamic protagonist for The Games. Katniss is one of the best protagonists of all time, that’s true, but it was imperative that Lucy Gray be the antithesis of her. That’s what makes the story so compelling. There are so many parallels in their stories yet coming from different sides of the coin. The “Katniss was a fighter forced to perform; Lucy Gray was a performer forced to fight” of it all. The fact Lucy Gray never even picks up a weapon, yet still does anything she can for means of survival, before and especially after The Games are over. It’s such a cool journey to watch, and I love seeing her arc play out, especially considering Rachel Zegler embodies her so perfectly.
My favorite arc of the movie for Lucy Gray actually comes in the third act. I’m not sure if that’s an unpopular opinion, but I love seeing her with The Covey and in District 12 even more than I liked watching her in The Games. Probably because, although still told in Coriolanus’ perspective, it’s the most we see of her personality shining through. A lot of The Games were actually framed through the lens of its production, particularly how Snow could rig it for her, which was interesting in its own right. I love her from the start, don’t get me wrong, but seeing her alive, rather than fighting, is what really makes her character so compelling to me. The final scene of her in the cabin. Rachel has some of my favorite line deliveries of 2023, and I’m so dead serious.
MENTORS.
12. Persephone Price / 11. Hilarius Heavensbee / 10. Vipsania Sickle / 9. Domitia Whimsiwick
I grouped these mentors together because truthfully… I don’t have anything to say. I included their tributes, so I included them as well. Although, honestly, the fact that every single mentor listed above has an objectively hilarious name had to be highlighted as well. Hilarius Heavensbee. Marvelous.
8. Felix Ravinstill
R.I.P.
7. Juno Phipps
If I remember correctly, she is the one who threw up during the bloodbath. Very notable. I understand her deeply. Nasty business.
6. Arachne Crane
She's a cautionary tale in anti-classism. She lived, served a little cunt, and then got MURDERED. In a way, the first victim of the 10th Annual Hunger Games. Honestly, she was so funny. She kept “I know what you are”ing CorSnow and Sejanus, and after watching the movie… I believe her. I know what they are, too!!! She saw something we didn’t see. She knew something we didn’t. Maybe that’s why she had to die, so she couldn’t out Snow.
5. Festus Creed
He served cunt. That’s all. Could never place him higher because he is who trained Coral, and I don’t respect the institution of Coral. Not his fault, but he had to be held accountable for the evil he brought into the games.
4. Pliny “Pup” Harrington
I really was rooting for the Pliny / Lamina tribute/mentor duo. The scene where he tried to sponsor Lamina and he found out the drones just did NOTTTT work at all. Honestly, it wasn’t funny, but it was. I was chuckling both times in the theater. He was so GAGGED. It was so SICK. I’m so sorry, Pliny “Pup” Harrington.
3. Clemensia Dovecote
If you know me well enough, you know I’ve been huge in Clemmie hive since I first read the book, and that has truthfully only grown. I love Ashley Liao, the set pics were gagging me left and right, the face is faceing. I wish we got her post-bite Clemmie, although truthfully that imagery is so insidious in the books. I did consider ranking her #1 just because I am such a Clemmie truther, but I do think cutting her scenes post-bite evened her out around here. I would’ve loved even just a nod at her in-film confirmation of survival. Their society was really just not prepared for a woman with ambition at all. God forbid women lie a little bit. #SMH
2. Sejanus Plinth
Radical act.
Lysistrata Vickers
You probably got to this ranking and said… “not j*ss, be so serious right now.” and I’m here to tell you… this is a really good woman, your honor. She cared for her tribute, and she was a way better friend than she should’ve been because SNOW got her tribute KILLED!!!! Where’s the vindication? Another character I would’ve liked to see a bit more of, honestly, because she was a delight on screen! I get why we didn’t, because… movies have to be movie length, but I would’ve watched a 6-hour movie just to get like 5 more consecutive minutes of her and Clemmie specifically. Doesn’t hurt that I have liked Zoë Renee as an actress for quite some time. Also, as I mentioned earlier, I just loved that she was a mentor who actually seemed to care for her tribute and wanted them to live. She was upset as hell when she accidentally murdered Jessup!!!!! For the record, in the movie that was ALL on Choreo. #IDGAF Lysistrata innocent!!!!
VICTOR. Coriolanus Snow
A bad man. On first watch, I felt as though the movie was a little too tame in confronting his evilness, but upon rewatch, everything felt so much more calculated and insidious. I also think the characters were underselling his (murder) body count, I think he killed a solid 90% of everybody. Morality wise, he’s just the worst to ever do it, and in this movie, that becomes more and more clear as the story unfolds… but character wise I do have to give him some 10s. Snow lands where? 🔛🔝. Tom Blyth gave a great performance, and his chemistry with Rachel Zegler was top tier. The SnowBaird ship gave me a bit of buzz, I can’t even lie to you right now. Part of the reason I decided not to rank Lucy Gray or Snow is because I didn’t want to decide where I’d place Coriolanus. He gives me truly feel mixed feelings, because character wise? Suzanne Collins did her thing, it’s a very interesting arc, one of which I could imagine so much more expansion on, considering we still have several decades between this and the original trilogy. But I just can’t support him. I can’t support men’s wrongs, I only support that in women.
Let me also just give a shoutout to Hunter Schafer as Tigris Snow. She’s not a tribute or a mentor, so I couldn’t rank her anywhere, but she’s a key role in this film. Seeing a trans woman just devour a screen like that is so important to me, I wish I had that when I was 12 watching The Hunger Games. Her costuming was everything to me, and she has some of the best line deliveries in this project. You already know two very specific lines I’m thinking about in my head if you saw the movie. She made the most of every second she was on screen. That’s a movie star.
While on topic of making the most of every second, EGOT Viola Davis was absolutely unreal as Volumnia Gaul. She proves time and time again, she’s one of the greatests to ever do it. She was chilling. She stole every scene she was in just by pure presence. What could’ve been a gimmicky one dimensional villain, became one of her standout career performances.
My mini-review of the movie as a whole is… you just have to see it. I have not stopped thinking about it since I saw it last Thursday, and I will be trying to see it a few more times before it’s out of theaters. Second best Hunger Games project to Catching Fire, this I truly believe. I sort of gave all of my substantial thoughts in my two Letterboxd reviews. It does feel as though, once you reach the third act, this could’ve been broken down into more separate projects. They could’ve gone a full 4+ hours telling this story, and it’d allow for more nuance to shine through. But that’d be much more of financial risk, I’m sure. Telling it in one movie with a (relatively) standard runtime was the most profitable outcome, and they told it quite well, if you let me tell it. Not perfectly, but I already had some issues with it as a book, so I don’t think “perfect” was ever going to be the full outcome. Overall, she’s a hit in my household. In a few weeks, I might have hyper-fixated into deciding it’s the best film ever crafted, you never know.
Happy Thanksgiving! The Hunger Games had cornucopias, so, you know. This is actually quite seasonal.