The Official and Definitive GUTS Ranking Newsletter
Ballad of a neurodivergent 23 year old edition.
I once said wait until 2024 to ask me about my GUTS ranking…. but I’ve decided to break my (lack of) silence now.
I’m well aware this might be an odd time to publish this. The album is now 2 months old, the timeline hasn’t moved on necessarily, but everybody has already decided how they feel about this album, positively or negatively. Nobody is eagerly anticipating anybody else’s “reviews” or rankings. The time has come, and the time has gone. However, I move at my own pace! I didn’t have a ranking ready in September, and I’m too into respecting spooky season to publish something off-brand in October, so consider me as just being fashionably late. I asked the X timeline, and they said they’ll be tuned in, so… we’re here regardless. Plus, Olivia Rodrigo just released her (excellent, for the record) new song for The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (movie in theaters November 17th, pre-order your tickets now) soundtrack, Can’t Catch Me Now, (go stream it, seriously!) So it’s still topical enough, if you let me tell it.
It’s of note that nobody has ever agreed with a ranking of mine that I’ve published on the not j*ss newsletter thus far, and this album particularly seems to get people very opinionated, so… I’m kind of throwing myself to the wolves right now, but I actually don’t have a single negative opinion to share. I like this album from top to bottom, so I’m hoping you all just have a little fun with me right now. I feel as though the Livvies and I get along, hopefully nobody sends me death threats. Ranking this hurt my own feelings, so please don’t berate me any more than I’ve berated myself.
Let’s delve into some history. Right at the start of 2021, there was a true cultural reset when Olivia Rodrigo dropped the instant hit Driver’s License. I had already known her from High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. I am a grown adult teenager, after all. I hadn’t been aware she was releasing a single until the night it dropped, though, but I checked it out as soon as I had been made aware, and I have been tapped in consistently ever since. I have always been quite a fan of Sour, I consider it to be a very good debut album. I’ve considered doing a ranking issue of it for well over a year but could never actually commit to it. Now that her follow up album is here, I have always known this issue was bound to happen, before it even dropped… but I was hoping it’d be a little bit easier than it has proven to be. I can safely say I prefer Guts to Sour, which is no small praise. Everything about this album just hits for me, and while it doesn’t stray from the artistry that made Sour special, it’s such a clear evolution of who she is as a person, and how she writes and navigates music. This is how a Sophomore Album should be done, and that makes me so excited for whatever comes next from her.
My only disclaimer is, I’m only going to be ranking the standard track list, as I have no idea what those bonus tracks sound like. They are not my business until they are available to be my business.
Okay, let’s get to ranking… #SCARED!!!
12. Lacy
Favorite Lyric: “I feel your compliments, like bullets on skin. Dazzling starlet, Bardot reincarnate.”
This seems to be a ‘you either really get it or you really DON’T get it’ track… and while this has been my least favorite song since the very first listen, let it be known I actually really don’t dislike this song. I like it! It’s a very pretty song, but it’s just one I don’t gravitate towards. It’s a very low-key song, and while I do think Olivia excels at making slow burners, it’s an album full of heavy-hitters, and this one sort of… falls underneath my personal radar. I just don’t think Olivia Rodrigo makes bad music, please… Lacy stans, don’t take this as an attack! I actually love that this was a poem of hers that she adapted into a song, this song is actually a good example of her shift in lyricism between eras.
Rather than spelling out what her songs are about, Olivia encourages people to make their own interpretations to her music, Lacy more than anything else on the album has been subject to a lot of different theories on the lyrics. Ranging from gay to cocaine. Personally, I take the more literal approach. I consider it to be about jealousy that blurs into infatuation.
11. Logical
Favorite Lyric: “Arguments you held over my head. Brought up the girls you could have instead. Said I was too young, I was too soft, can’t take a joke, can’t get you off. Why do I do this? I look so stupid, thinking…”
I feel so sick ranking this so low. When I tell you the bridge into the chorus into the outro is one of the most brilliant sections of this album, I’m not being hyperbolic. It’s quite flawlessly written. I know there are some people who do not feel this song at all, and a lot of people who just don’t like her ballads. I’m NOT one of those people. I just have to rank every song somewhere, and this one just so happens to be #11, unfortunately.
I can’t articulate exactly why it isn’t my favorite song, considering I love so much of it… and I’m more apologetic of the “two plus two equals five” line than others tend to be. I think she articulates the mixed emotions of an emotionally abusive relationship in a very intricate, still widely palatable way. It’s just a song I enjoy in the context of this album, particularly thematically, but not a song I go out of my way to play outside of the context of the album. I appreciate it as an album track, it’s necessary, and well made, well written, but not a song I immediately revisit.
I do love how the lyrics are very specific to her, while also being universal. I believe this to be one of the more straight-forward songs on the album about a… very unhealthy, to put it lightly, relationship. The way in which I can insert my own experiences into it, and it can hit in an entirely new light, is a strength and a gift with Olivia’s pen.
10. Vampire
Favorite Lyric: “Every girl I ever talked to told me you were bad, bad news. You called them crazy, god, I hate the way I called them crazy, too.”
This is one of the placements I struggled with the most, because I’ve been up, and I’ve been down on this song. When I first heard it, I was quite blown away. I loved the tempo shift in the second verse, and the bridge is one of my favorite things I’ve ever heard this entire year. However, it played every day at my work for a solid month, so when the album dropped, I really just led it astray a bit. Overplay made me start skipping it every time I’d stream, I’m afraid. After a few weeks, though, I circled back. I let it play. And I started figuratively levitating with her all over again. I guess it just happened to land here, rather than me placing it here. There’s a difference.
I don’t know whether she herself would label herself a victim of grooming, but this and Logical work together to spell out precisely how I have felt in such situations before very expertly. Trust when I say that they do not place this lowly out of lack of connection. They are incredibly well written and personal to me. These just aren’t the songs I gravitate to when I’m not streaming the album as a whole. However, I see why she chose Vampire as a single… it is one of her biggest hits, after all.
9. Teenage Dream
Favorite Lyric: “They all say that it gets better, what if I don’t?”
This is a song I have publicly defended before, and there was a time where I would’ve ranked it as highly as top 3. Don’t get this confused, though, I still really have a strong connection to it, actually. This is one of a few songs on this album that I believe work as a successor to Brutal, a song I love. I also consider this to be a companion piece to Reneé Rapp’s 23, actually, and you all should know I love that song! Songs about becoming another year old, but instead of feeling celebratory, feeling anxious, lost is a very specific feeling. Maybe not everybody can relate to it, but when you’re entering adulthood, or even into your mid-20s, you may present happily, yet there will be a darkness beneath the surface. A fearing of not being or doing enough. Looking back to when I was 19 specifically, I didn’t know it at the time, but everything I had then I do not have any more. I wasn’t happy, even if I thought I was. I was stuck.
I suppose the only reason Teenage Dream is this low is because, similarly to the songs I’ve mentioned before, I can’t separate it from the context of the album. It’s such a perfect closer, but not a song I revisit on its own too much. I like hearing it after having felt everything I’ve felt on this journey of the album. I feel like I’ve accidentally ranked so many of her ballads this low, when I feel as though her ballads have grown so much from Sour era, I don’t want to come off as a hater… but this is just how my ranking happened to turn out. I guess I’m telling on myself a bit, I do gravitate towards her more upbeat songs, although I do believe she lyrically shined on her ballads of this era. I don’t think I have to defend myself too much, because I know a lot of people skip her ballads, but don’t consider me to be one of you. I love this song! I love the music escalating as the bridge progresses, as well. A worthy successor to the pop song titled Teenage Dream crown.
I suppose we can advance a tier now, although this isn’t a tier list. Everything I’m listing from here on out have been considered to be in my top 3 at one point or another since this album dropped. You really have to walk with me as I explain each placement, because I didn’t reach this ranking lightly.
8. Love Is Embarrassing
Favorite Lyric: “And I consoled you while you cried over your ex-girlfriend's new guy, my god, how could I be so stupid?”
This is going to make so many people upset, so I have to emphasize… this could be in my top 5, even my top 3, on any given day. Sonically, this very well may be Olivia Rodrigo’s best song, it sounds marvelous. It’s actually off-brand that at first it was in my bottom 3, because the MUSICALITY of it is so clearly up my alley. However, I was never very concerned with the lyrics, and I feel as though this album is very lyrically advanced, so I was dead focused on the lyrics above everything else at first. Now, I have an entire choreography mapped out for it, I have a music video set up in my head. And, as opposed to the songs below it, I listen to this on its own all the time. More than some songs I have ranked above it. I made my own spin bike routine for it! Don’t be offended that this is 8th, just pretend it is tied for 4th.
7. The Grudge
Favorite Lyric: “We both drew blood, but, man, those cuts were never equal.”
Another song I have vehemently defended and dubbed top 3 on the album before. Back when this album was dropped, all of my mutuals gave this song dust, and I find that ridiculous. This placing relatively lowly in the grander context of the album may read as if I like this song less than I did before, but actually other songs just grew on me, and my love for this song remained consistent. The lyricism on this song just goes so crazy, and then the bridge comes around. Just next level stuff. Not only is it lyrically excellent, vocally some of her best work to date, it all has a strong grasp on musicality as well. Very important to the album.
Now, to address the lyrics and meaning… I know there’s this super dramatic fan theory on it being about a certain music star… I personally do not care to speculate on the matter. I honestly fear that a part of the reason people did not appreciate this song on first listen is because they associated it so heavily to That Alleged Drama. Olivia herself says she doesn’t have beef with anybody, so I take a more general approach to the material. Apply it more to situations I can relate to. Just the general concept of being wronged by a partner or somebody you held to such a high standard in your head. It doesn’t HAVE to be any one thing, and that’s what makes it such a beautiful song. A universality in the lyricism. Personally, it exists in a similar space as Logical and Vampire. The forms of mistreatment parallel one another to me, even if they aren’t about the same person to Olivia.
6. All American Bitch
Favorite Lyric: “I got class and integrity, just like a goddamn Kennedy, I swear.”
When I started drafting this, I had planned to place this a bit lower actually. I thought I had considered it to be a better album opener that blends into Bad Idea, Right? so well rather than a track holding up on its own. However, when you listen to it you have to realize… it’s just SOOOOOO good. Like, it’s just SOOOOO good, I can’t dare place it any lower than here. Mind you, some people will be upset that this isn’t in my top 3, or at the very least top 5, and let it be known… I considered all options. This feels right.
This is another song I consider to be a companion piece to Brutal, and I love Brutal, which means the fact that I just might prefer this to Brutal, no small accomplishment. I also consider this to be the closest Olivia has gotten to emulating Best Damn Thing era Avril to date. I don’t know if that’s intentional, but I consider that to be a really glorious thing. If Olivia wanted to cover an Avril song or two, I would love that. For science.
5. Making the Bed
Favorite Lyric: “I tell someone that I love them, just as a distraction. They tell me that they love me like I’m some tourist attraction. They’re changing my machinery, and I just let it happen. I got the things I wanted, it’s just not what I imagined.”
On first listen, this immediately landed in my top 3. Let it be known, my feelings have not changed. We are in the spot where every song has been considered my #1 at one point or another. This is one of Olivia’s greatest accomplishments of lyricism, and I mean that. I am a bridge girlie, and its lack of bridge may very well be the only reason this isn’t currently standing at #1, because I believe this to be an objectively brilliant song on all accounts.
The second verse and bridge of this song. Of course Olivia’s complicated relationship with fame is what she’s exploring here, but she makes it so accessible and relatable to any person in young adulthood. It’s such a quintessential coming-of-age track. Losing your path in a career, losing friends. Achieving certain things, but losing others in the process, and the only person you’re able to blame is yourself, because you’re the only person in control of your own life. I have cried to this song! I don’t know why I’m sharing that, but it’s just a fact of my life. It’s likely the song that just hits for me the most, in a deeply personal way.
4. Pretty Isn’t Pretty
Favorite Lyric: “I try to ignore it, but it’s in everything I see, it’s on the poster on the wall, it’s in the shitty magazines, it’s in my phone, it’s in my head, it’s in the boys I bring to bed, it’s all around, it’s all the time, I don’t know why.”
This had a huge redemption arc in my ranking, because I did NOT really vibe with it on first listen. I thought it was conceptually great, but sonically less than compelling, and… I’m so confused about how I was so blind. The amount it has grown on me sonically makes me forget why I ever thought it fell flat, because… when the second verse speeds up a bit, I literally get such a rush. Something comes over me every time, and I can’t imagine finding that… less than brilliant? Such a well crafted sense of nostalgia yet still sounding fresh to her. The bridge is just flawless as well. This song has a sonic arc to it, and I still have such a deep love for the lyrics, which I can certainly relate to in my own way that I don’t want to overshare, but I think is, again, universal. All around, just a hit. I’m sorry for ever doubting the people who called it their favorite on first listen, I was blind but now can see.
3. Bad Idea, Right?
Favorite Lyric : “I’m sure I’ve seen much hotter men, but I really can’t remember when!”
You all didn’t get it the first time. Only elevated thinkers did. I feel bad for those who didn’t, but I can’t blame them. You have to have a real ear for music. This is the Deja Vu of the GUTS era. Everybody paid it dust at first, but in two years you all will act like you’ve always LOVED it, and I guarantee that will happen. This is the one song competing with Love Is Embarrassing for me, in terms of just SOUNDING perfect. I think they are her sonic peaks, and I will stand in that truth. I don’t even mind that it is bridgeless anymore, because I think it sounds so good, and is also lyrically a universal and relatable truth to any ‘I can fix him’ girlie. Hit me up when you see the light, because I’ve been singing its praises since DAY ONE, and I want that to be put on the record now. I have nothing more to say that I haven’t already said.
2. Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl
Favorite Lyric : “I laughed at the wrong time, sat with the wrong guy, searching ‘how to start a conversation’ on a website.”
When I first drafted this issue, this was actually a bit lower! Swapped with All American Bitch, but my album revisit gave me a new perspective. This is a very emulative song of her current era and brand. Her best work of this style to date. This kind of works as a definitive song of her career thus far, above all else in her catalog.
I wasn’t homeschooled, but the lyrics speak to me as a neurodivergent 23 year old minor. She’s singing about me, actually.
1. Get Him Back!
Favorite Lyric: “When I told him how he hurt me, he’d tell me I was tripping, but I am my father’s daughter so maybe I could fix him!!!!”
POP. PERFECTION. I am so dead serious right now. I’m happy it seems as though everybody already gets what I’m on about. So often, when I mention a song that I find to be 5-star, top tier, pop excellence, nobody else is really on the same page as me, see: Bad Idea, Right? But I feel as though Get Him Back! is getting her 10s on the timeline, and that makes me so happy. I wish it got more love as a single, but can’t win them all, I suppose. She deserved the Good 4 U treatment.
This also happens to be the song with her best live vocal delivery, in my opinion. Her voice is just sooo animated in the verses, I could watch her perform this song for hours, just a marvelous time. I doubt this will shock anybody, or that I need to explain myself further, but I believe this to be Olivia’s best song to date. She unlocked a pop recipe that not just anybody could pull off.
IN CONCLUSION… this is amongst my favorite albums of the year. If I do a year in review recap, expect her to make SEVERAL appearances. Some people don’t feel the same as I do, others just prefer Sour, but I believe her artistic evolution to already be present and impressive. Can’t Catch Me Now is also already raising her own personal bar. She avoided the Sophomore slump and is here to stay. Not a single bad song on this album, that is my truth.
justice for Love is Embarrassing....but PRETTY ISN'T PRETTY PRAISE.
“They are not my business until they are available to be my business” lol! Wait… I think I agree with this ranking!?? Great read 🫶